Don’t forget to watch the Budget live on the box tonight or click here to watch a live stream on Facebook. I would love to tell you what is in it but I don’t know. So let’s watch it together over some virtual popcorn and Milo.
Pro Small Business and Bloody Proud to be
My first job wasn’t a job as such but a budding little small business. While a skinny little kid at Bli Bli State School I used to collect eggs from our chooks and sell them to the teachers. On weekends, I would sell spare custard apples at our farm gate. To be honest I would have given them away. Eurgh. I have never liked custard apples. But I digress. On our Tory side of politics, we back small business as that is where we come from. We know that small business built Australia. Simples.
That’s why we have delivered tax cuts for 3.2 million small and medium businesses that employ 6.5 million Australians – more than half the workforce. This includes 540,250 businesses here in Queensland. Lowering tax is a good thing. Make sure you pay attention as there will be a test at the end on the following.
Companies turning over less than $10 million will get an immediate tax cut to 27.5 per cent, with tax cuts to 25 per cent for companies turning over up to $50 million over the next decade. Sole traders turning over up to $5 million will get an immediate increase in our small business tax discount from 5 per cent to 8 per cent (capped at $1,000), increasing to 16 per cent over the next decade.
And all small businesses turning over up to $10 million will now be able to access important tax concessions like the instant asset write off, favourable trading stock rules, simplified GST reporting, and a variety of other tax benefits. And if all of that doesn’t wobble your cockles then you are a Bill Shorten groupie.
While the free world waged war against the tyranny in the name of freedom 75 years ago, Sir Robert Menzies laid out his vision known as the ‘Forgotten People Address’. Ending with “…what really happens to us will depend on how many people we have who are of the great and sober and dynamic middle-class – the strivers, the planners, the ambitious ones. We shall destroy them at our peril,” Sir Robert’s words are as relevant in 2017 as they were in 1942.
To celebrate such wise words, I am giving away Sir Robert Menzies magnets. If you would like one, please contact firstname.lastname@example.org.
Forgotten People like the Milosevics
If the story of Sophie, daughter of Sarah and Peter Milosevic doesn't make you angry, give me your address so I can come around with a super-charged electric cattle prod and shock you into anger. Sarah was 39 weeks pregnant with Sophie when she and Peter, while in their car turning into their home street, were hit by a drunk driver. Sophie, yet to take a breath was killed. She has both a birth and death certificate and was on the road death toll. This was in August 2014.
Because Sophie hadn't been born, the drunken fiend was fined $950 and had his licence suspended for five months. As he left the court, the grub did the 'thumbs up' gesture to Sarah and Peter.
I should mention that both mum and dad were also severely injured in the crash. The law should be changed. The law should be changed to protect unborn babies against Violence that causes their death for any malicious reasons. This would mean 'Sophie's law' could see charges brought against drivers that cause the death of all babies no matter the gestation.
Find out more about the story of Sophie and Sarah and Peter here at Sophie's Law but more importantly sign the petition here.
Border Security, Our Security
We are all about Fortress Australia – keeping out bad people and bad diseases. It’s now been over 1,000 days since the last people smuggling boat reached Australia. We should never forget that when Labor was in charge, Australia saw more than 50,000 illegal maritime arrivals on more than 800 people smuggling boats, more than 8000 children in detention and tragically more than 1200 deaths at sea. Click here to read more about how we are making Australia secure.
My Family and Other Wild Things
If you are a fan of bloody white cockatoos then quite frankly I am a little disappointed with you. These feathered hoons destroyed my morning nap on Sunday. Are they protected? I’m asking for a friend… Although this ad from John West perhaps too accurately reflects what I would really like to do. Or I could attempt the ‘ye olde melon cannon’ but this is probably what would happen. The summoning of the Rain God here would be a mixed blessing as while the birds scatter I suspect a bushfire might start.
Don’t Read This
Whatever you do, don’t click on this link. On this Budget Day, it is a brutal summary of our debt position. I didn’t think numbers could be that large.
New Office. Yes Really.
I have said before that when the Zombies take over the world you could safely shelter in my ‘temporary’ Electorate Office in Nambour as it is impossible to find. However in exciting news it looks as though we will be moving into a new ‘permanent’ Office in late May. It is street level and will shriek our presence. It has only taken almost three years but we are almost in situ. So when the Zombies come, you will have to shelter elsewhere.
Greens Unions Labor Lefty ABC (GULLA) Watch
Earlier this month, the CFMEU found themselves in trouble yet again and fined $590,800 for their complete contempt for Australian workplace laws. Good.
While Yassmin Abdel-Magied, that noted defender of freedom thought ANZAC Day was a good day to attack Australia. Don’t you just love how the lefties love exercising their freedom of speech to attack those who died defending freedom. What a bunch of bed-wetting grubs.
In more unsurprising news, the ACTU is still being run by the anarcho-Marxist claptrappist Sally McManus who believes she is above the law. Oh and apparently Fairfax journos went on strike…
One thing is certain, Bill Shorten will run the country like a union and take his orders from GULLAville. The only way to stop the nightmare of "Prime Minister Bill Shorten" is to donate to my freedom fighting fund here.
And if Bill shorten is seriously telling us he didn't sign off on that white than white ad he is either lying or stupid. Or both. On every campaign I've run, the leader sees the ads.
Britain heads to the polls
Prime Minister May has announced that Britain will go to the polls on June 8. This is after a round of local elections last Thursday where UKIP collapsed, Labour splintered, the LibDems splattered and the Tories soared. Sadly, this brilliantly simple ad couldn’t help the Tory Sean Anstee win in Manchester. Hell, the Tories even won a ward or two in Glasgow. A great day for our British cousins.
You can watch Prime Minister May’s election announcement here.
Congratulations to Joyce Newton on receiving Honorary Life Membership of the LNP at the March State Council in Cairns.
Your dedication and service to the Liberal National Party over the past 37 years is an exceptional record of achievement, of which you and your family can be very proud. I am still scared of you!
Thank you to everyone who replied to my last e-news with suggestions for regulatory reform. Keep sending them. If you have any ideas for regulatory reform (no matter how good, mad or bad you think they may be), please send them through to me at email@example.com.
And Finally - "Good Show"
Above Berlin in 1943 let us listen to an amazing recording of a Lancaster Bomber Crew as they are chased by a German fighter. Words fail me.
Cuddles and toodle-hoo,
PS: Please don't forget to forward this to your lefty friends. Although let’s be honest with each other, friends don’t let friends be lefties.
PPS: Now here are some date savers for you - Goomeri Pumpkin Festival is on 28 May, House of Cards Season 5 comes out on 30 May, and Despicable Me 3 (woohoo!!!) is released on 15 June.
PPPS: Does your community group need a Australian Flag? Drop me a line at firstname.lastname@example.org and we will sort it.
PPPPS: I lied about the test on our small business tax cuts.